Father and Son: Generational Differences

...continuation of Relationship Arguments

The problem with my dad is that he grew up in China with a filial Chinese boy state of mind. He believes that when dinner is ready, everyone has to drop whatever they're doing and rush to the dinner table. I have a completely different view on dinnertime. I like to finish doing one thing before starting another. Dropping my work to force food in my packed stomach doesn't sound quite logical to me.

My dad values family first. I know he wants the best for his family, but sometimes his efforts of trying to solve our problems only makes it worst. Rule of thumb: When it's not your problem, don't attempt to solve it unless you're asked for help otherwise you're a nuisance. For example, my brother bought a new car and it only comes with one key. My dad has constantly bothered my brother to get a spare key in case he loses this one. My brother has delayed this task for several months and my dad complains to my mom about my brother's problems.

My dad takes his anger out on my mom for our problems. He never comes to me or my brother to complain or start an argument because he knows we can bat every pitch he throws. So instead, he takes the easy road and complains to other people about our bad habits instead of solving it with us face-to-face. Instead of creating drama and commotion, it would be much easier if he stopped being such a worry-wart.

Being the only one employed in the family, my dad has been working hard to put food on the table for his family in the larger portion of his life. He is hardworking but he doesn't realize he is getting old, clumsy, and fragile. He can't randomly run into things anymore, hoping his wounds will heal the next day. His injuries get him even more mad because it makes him feel incapable of functioning normally.

After working for so long as a robot, he has lost the purpose of enjoying life. He does not know how to find enjoyable things to do in life. He watches the news and soccer from time to time, but I think he should occupy his time by finding more things that interest him.

My uncle told me that I looked a lot like my father when he was a teenager. Even though we have different values, I find that I act a lot like my father. I have a strong feeling that I will be like my father, following a lot of his footsteps. I will continue giving advice even if other people take it as a scolding because that's just how I am.

Because I have a high level of tolerance and open-mindedness, I tend to believe a lot of people are like me, but I realized there are still a lot of stubborn, close-minded people out there. It is very hard for me to cooperate with these type of people, but I'm learning.